I expect the flight attendant to be an overweight gay man in a dirty uniform with an indeterminate Southern accent. He'll serve me tepid, bitter coffee in a Styrofoam tumbler. He'll tell me I'm welcome to keep my copy of Skymall should I want to purchase "Jumpin Jammerz, a brand of adult, one-piece, footie pajamas, designed "for the big kid in all of us."
It will be nothing like this:
