We Are In Agreement

Tweet from New Gingrich

"newtgingrich: Having a good lunch at the mcdonalds in osseo with callista and her mother bernita. Good crispy chicken sandwich, great fries, good coffee"

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

A Tweet from Sen. Chuck Grassley

"ChuckGrassley: Waukon Town Meeting A constituent counted 200. Biggest turnout ever in Waukon. Health Care and "Obama power grab" biggest issues."

+++ I guess by "Obama power grab" he means "landslide electoral victory."

I have a feeling this guy knows who broke into my car

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

CNN's Don Lemon is "broadcasting live from the city that has the word's attention"

Tel Aviv? Baghdad? Tehran? Pyongyang?

No.

Santa Barbara.

Because of Michael Jackson.

Christ.

But don't worry, Al Sharpton will be appearing in a sec with new insight into the tragedy.

Whose reality is this?

Allow me to recap my day...

Car broken into, pass side window smashed, ipod jacked, parking ticket WHILE car is broken into, get gas that costs $55 b/c I accidentally pumped from the full service pump. Might go back to bed. Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

You know you think the moonwalk is cool. Just admit it.

I know for me it's been years since I've thought of Michael Jackson as anything but depressing. Even if he didn't molest those kids, he was still a total trainwreck; he made the rest of the Jacksons look normal.

If you can make Jermaine Jackson look normal, you've made a handful of bad decisions.

That said, watching footage of a 25 year-old MJ light-it-up is pretty fucking amazing. It serves as a reminder that entire universe of pop-and-lock choreography was defined in about 4 minutes by a small-black-man 25 years-ago.

Justin Timberlake, eat your heart out.

.

Full disclosure: I took break-dancing lessons when I was 8 and had a red winter jacket that I would wear when I danced to the Beat It video. Don't judge me

John Kerry: Peerless Teller of Jokes

"Too bad if a governor had to go missing it couldn't have been the governor of Alaska," [Sen. Kerry] said, according to the paper. "You know, Sarah Palin."

CNN

Thanks for the clarification, John.

Subtle

The ad copy reads:

IT'LL BLOW YOUR MIND AWAY. Fill your desire for something long, juicy and flame-grilled with the NEW BK SUPER SEVEN INCHER. Yearn for more after you taste the mind-blowing burger that comes with a single beef patty, topped with American cheese, crispy onions and the A1 Thick and Hearty Steak Sauce.

Jesus Christ Sponge

We're Secretly Carpet-bombing Iran. Shit.

I mean, I would assume, right?

Henry Kissinger agrees with Obama's Iran-stance.